Actions Speaking Louder Than Words

A phrase we've all heard; and one I am almost always in agreement with. The other day, a friend mentioned that in regards to how much/whether her boyfriend loved her, it would be his actions that would convince her more than anything he had to say. On first blush, I completely agreed. But then I began to think upon this. I know, I know, I shouldn't ponder so hard as it only adds to the smog level. Anyhow, in this case, I was thinking that this could be one of those times when it isn't so much the actions as a whole but what actions that one would consider to speak to them. As most folks can tell you they are not mind readers. Hell I know I didn't take any classes in high school or college in being able to hear what is going on in the mind of another. And when it comes to that thing called Love, we have the "dictionary" definition, which if you have ever thought about love for even five minutes, then the definition of love in your head is quite different (expanded) from the basically simple definition in the dictionary. So, couple those things together and what do you get. The potential for one one performing those actions to be doing them in vain, as they may not be the actions that the recipient desires to have done to see that the performer is doing them to express love with a bullhorn of activity. If I'm massaging shoulders and you want a foot rub...I'm supposed to know this how? If I don't realize that you appreciate one over the other; that one shows love versus just me being all touchy, i won't know if I am not told. Yet; doesn't it defeat the purpose if you have to tell me? Maybe if you need to tell me every other day. But if I'm not ever told, if I'm not given feedback on a preference, then maybe the actions I'm speaking aren't the ones you want to hear. Obviously the above are examples of the need for words to beget the desired actions. If you want actions, maybe you don't have to be specific down to the letter, but ideas, generalizations, a 2x4 upside the head hint, might be necessary to get the ball rolling the way you want: to get the volume of those actions to where you can hear the love he/she is trying to express, and in a language you both comprehend. Communication as we all know has very little to do with the words that we speak, but in so many other aspects of communication. It is why certain methods of communication (i.e. sarcasm) are so difficult to convey in the written form...it needs the other cues of communication to clue us in. Love, I believe can be very well communicated in words, written or spoken. But when love is only expressed via only one method, it loses its impact upon the recipient of the message. So, as in the case of my friend, I agree. Her boyfriend needs to speak in the language of action to show her that he loves her. However, it is important for her to communicate, in words or in deeds, what sorts of actions will pump up the volume on his love radio broadcast. He may be doing things he believes are expressing his love and devotion at an 11 on the amp, when on her perspective, his actions are air guitar...all motion and fluff with no real purpose. Actions. Speak volumes. Let someone know what actions not only get your attention (in a good way; we all know of the I act out so you will notice me types of actions) but will also hold that attention and will be expressive of the love (or other emotional discourse) that is desired.