Thursday, March 26, 2020

Anti-Heroes: Love/Hate or Hate/Love

I generally do not care for the anti-hero trope.  Far too many of them are some scale of evil, that occasionally do something good, but more by accident than by any actual choice.

However, there sometimes comes along a hero that you ought to sincerely dislike because they do bad things, yet the more you learn about the complexities of this individual and the “code” that they ascribe to, you suddenly find yourself rooting for them.

Currently, my wife and I are finishing up a series (as far as Netflix has the series anyhow), called Peaky Blinders.  I won’t go too much into describing the show, but the show has a really good cast of characters and those characters are given depth and dimension.

The main character is Tommy.  Tommy is suffering from PTSD, was raised by an abusive father until said Da decided to absent himself from the family.  He is rather ruthless, but he has scruples.  While much of what he or his family and cohorts do is criminal, Tommy has rules that make him choose to right wrongs.  And not always in immediate fashion but more Karmic.

Another good example of an anti-hero is Tony Soprano.  He is debased and practically amoral, self-centered and self-serving.  But then he goes and does something like with the girl’s soccer coach who was teaching more than soccer skills to at least one of the team.  It’s not something most law-abiding citizens would do; not that they don’t think about it and maybe even sincerely want to, but they won’t.  James Gandolfini portrayed a very complex character wonderfully and though you may have hated a lot of what he did, you had to like him for those moments he did something, he CHOSE to do something that was almost selfless and morally right, if not legally so.

In the game Dungeons and Dragons, there is a part of building your character where you choose alignment.  These 9  alignments dictate a lot of how that character acts and reacts to the other characters and respond to situations.

These range from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil.  When it comes to an anti-hero, I feel that most would fall into the chaotic good alignment arena.  I just don’t see them as lawful evil (this would be a person who causes intentional harm, be it physical, mental, emotional, financial) but has the rule of law (obviously immoral but legally permissible) or the belief that they are, delusionally, doing the work of a higher calling (i.e. called by God).

Neutral Good and Neutral Evil could fit, but I feel the neutrality of their decision making processes just doesn’t fit, because they are doing thing and making decisions that ultimately cause chaos for their own benefit.

Lawful Neutral, True Neutral and Chaotic Neutral are again not good fits for the anti-hero, though chaotic Neutral has potential (which I will discuss more shortly), but  again the neutrality in action sort of takes away from the drive of the character.  The anti-heroes that people want to succeed aren’t neutral, but they also are not evil, and the law is generally antagonistic towards because much of what they do is done outside of the law.  No, a character whom we sort of hate to love but can’t help but cheer for them is one who is fine with causing chaos, and while they may commit what many would consider to be evil acts, these actions are committed against others who also commit evil acts, and those who consciously involve themselves in illegal actions, but that code that they live with demands that they do all they can to cause no Intentional harm nor take advantage of the innocent.

What say you?  Who (real or fictional) do you see as an anti-hero?  I purposely left one out of my list above because I didn’t want to stray too far into the realm of whimsy.

Always looking for discussion, so please, by all means I would appreciate feedback and commentary.



Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Midnight Rambler(ing)


I have had the idea to write something for the last several months, but either something comes up and I don’t get around to put thought to keyboard, or my train of thought has taken a side railing when I was distracted and I have lost that cargo.

So, while I attempt to elicit sleep from the maelstrom that is my mind, I thought I would put down whatever randomness pops into my head.  With a little luck, maybe I will find some of my lost idea shipments and can list them as reminders for future rumination.

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I find it rather maddening that we have been able to keep histories, and make art, and do all of these wonderful things that we as a species call civilization.  We make rules of etiquette and have standards of politeness and we have been refining these things and developing a deeper understanding of the universe around us for six millennia, and yet, within the last few decades, it seems instead of progress in how to be civil and humane, much of our species appear to have regressed to some much earlier state, where even the slightest difference is grounds for utter contempt and derision.  

How?  Why?  Not a single one of us is exactly as another.  Be it appearance, thought, manner, anything.  We may have many similarities but we are all unique.

I understand that we place a lot of stock in the opinions and beliefs we hold.  For many of us, our understanding not only of the world, but who we are and are place in that world, our ego, is tied up in those beliefs and opinions.  However, no belief should ever be so sacrosanct that it cannot be held up to question.  This isn’t due to doubt.  This isn’t being unfaithful.  It is a natural and acceptable method for ensuring that our understanding of (insert belief here) is tested and refined with the information that is out there.  That information may reinforce what we have believed and support our opinion; but it also may, and there should be no regret or condemnation when this occurs, alter our beliefs and opinions when new information presents itself.  This is natural and normal and healthy.  

Getting pissed off because information somehow contradicts your long held and dear beliefs is not healthy.  Despising others because they have alternate beliefs and feelings and thoughts is not civilized.  Stagnation is slow death.  Learning and being able to weigh the facts, as well as the opinions of others, and conducting independent research to verify these facts and ideas is GROWTH and is LIVING.

Remember all those essays you wrote in school and you would invariably get back notes from your teacher; compare and contrast, compare and contrast!  That is seeing the world.  Compare and contrast what you think you know with all that is out there and be just a little more open and welcoming of others.  

Tolerance does not equate to agreement.  You do not have to agree with another’s opinions or beliefs.  You are welcome to disagree with anyone and everyone.  Tolerance dictates that even in the most diametrically opposite beliefs, those opposites can still be civil in tongue, polite in action, and caring of another living, sentient being, while still hotly debating the differences they hold and the whys of those differences.

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Friends are awesome.  I am talking true friends.  Those few people whom you know are going to be there for you on your worst day.  Those wonderful souls who are family; not because they are somehow biologically or legally related to you (though they could also be that as well), but because you chose them and they chose you.

I know that regardless of any differing opinions (see above), we will still have a bond that is nigh impossible to break, sans any disloyalty or the like.  Gaps of time, of distance matter not.  We may even grow apart some.  But should need arise, I would be there for my friends and they there for me.

To my friends; thank you for being my brothers and sisters, my village of “parents” and aunts/uncles, cousins and the like.  I have your back, and I know you have mine.

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My mental health.

On the off chance you weren’t aware, I have some mental health issues.  Once I learned that it didn’t mean that I was in any way broken or defective, once I understood that like a physical health issue, with the right treatments, one can live a reasonably normal and healthy life.

While I do reasonably well coping with my depression and anxiety, I sometimes need help.  This happened recently.

Right after Jen and I came home from our honeymoon, I seemed to have dove head first into a really deep funk.  And like the frog in the pot of water where the heat is slowly turned up, you don’t always realize the predicament you are in until it’s way past where you yourself can do anything.  At first, I dismissed the observations of others who asked if I was ok or noted I didn’t seem myself.

Finally, after some long talks with my wonderful wife, I did see how I was struggling and sought out some professional help.  

While I still, obviously, am having some insomnia issues, my paranoia, anxiety and depression have decreased.   I am doing things I enjoy doing (reading) and hopefully back into a decent home/work rhythm.  

I say all this because it can happen to anyone at any time.  Don’t let it overwhelm or consume you.  Seeking help, talking to a professional therapist, counselor or psychologist is not weakness.  

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Role reversal

I have talked about this before; but damn, taking on the role of caretaker, guardian, chauffeur and all of the other things that our parents did for us when we were young, because now they are old and not as strong physically or their endurance is low, they have ailments that limit or prevent them from doing some things...damn that shit is exhausting.

Love my parents, but...love my parents.

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Ok, my head is starting to slow down, my eyes are narrowing as my kids grow heavy; I think it is time to try for some sleep.

I hope to publish this soon and maybe even have some actual ideas for more focused and debatable topics arise in the near future.

Look forward to comments, thoughts and such.  Those help spark ideas as well.