The System

We have all dealt with it, in one form or another.  The majority of us, thankfully, are lucky to not have to deal with it in any more than a peripheral capacity, like renewing license plates or a change of address for your license/ID, but even then it can be infuriatingly frustrating at the paperwork, red tape, and utter bureaucratic maze that is The System.

 

However, there are those who have to deal with the system much more closely, and sometimes in nightmarishly hellish ways; plus there are those of us who work with or as part of the system, and are struck by how twisted the system can be.

 

It is this last group that I am directly addressing, but all are welcome to proceed.  I am writing this out of my own frustration and disgust with a system that is supposed to be all about assisting those who need assistance, that instead does little more in assisting beyond providing some of the most traumatic social interactions that create distrust and disgust with anyone and anything that is remotely related to that part of the system that screwed them over (in their eyes especially, but in ours as well).

 

I wish I could provide a lot of details, so that you don’t have to guess, or fill in your own scenario, but privacy concerns and professionalism require that I be vague.

 

My most recent issue with The System, is that it asks people to come to it and obtain assistance for a large number of things.  This is the part of the system that works, in a somewhat Byzantine manner, but does provide for the common welfare of all.

 

However, this same system, then chastises you on the mild end, and creates scenarios that seem to be drawn from Rod Serling’s files of Twilight Zone material.  For example, we encourage people in domestic abuse situations to reach out, get help, and hopefully remove themselves (and any children) from such situations.  While The System does provide help with investigation, intervention and potentially prosecution of the batterer, it also has a tendency to make the survivor of the abuse also face an invasive investigation, threaten to or actually remove minor children and place them in foster care, and/or place the survivor on child abuse/neglect registry.

 

How does this encourage anyone who is even somewhat familiar with that story to feel that they should seek out assistance when they are being abused, or worse, suffering physical injuries when they find the courage and strength to say no more?

 

As another example, the system says to reach out for help when your bad habit/addiction has finally reached a point where you are ready to change.  Understanding human nature we know that habits that have been ingrained in us, possibly since we were young, and especially with addictions, change is a process.  Lapses into use of an old habit occur; lapses in sobriety happen.  Everything tells us that while not exactly OK, we should confront our emotions about how we feel due to the lapse, recognize it as a mistake, recommit to the change in habit or to our sobriety and begin again.  Personally, I lived my first 34 years of life perfecting my anger into an art form; throw in some PTSD, and it was a powder keg in a roomful of sparks situation.  I have been working on the new me for 20 years now, and the frequency of my returning to that display of anger decreases by months and years now, but I can still get caught up in my emotions once in a while and revert to using a habit that was 2/3rds of my life compared to the roughly 1/3 of my new habit using life.  

 

So how is it that we expect individuals who have lived their lives a particular way for so long, and probably had parental/familial role-models of such habits or addictions, to just throw a switch, and not have struggles, and lapses.  Notice I keep saying lapse.  I am not talking about relapse here, which is you not acknowledging you made a mistake, owning it and trying over, but instead giving up on your own self, and returning to your addiction or bad habit, believing you are worthy of better.  Anyhow,, the system says it wants to help you, but when you have a lapse, whether you self-report, or someone drops a dime on you, the system treats you as if you have relapses and have failed to make any attempt at change; thus proceeding forward with various negative consequences and reinforcing whatever self-doubt you harbor about yourself and your ability to change.

 

As advocates for our clients; as advocates for Justice and change, we must confront, and push for changes in the system that are basically a push from behind after offering a helping hand back up.

 

Thanks for your time, and please, leave me feedback or ask questions.  Just because I have shared my opinion, doesn’t mean that it is the best it can be or even the correct opinion to hold.