Well, with a little luck I will have gotten somebody's attention and get them to read this. LOL
The topic o' discussion is indeed more about sex, and less about involutary celibacy...doubt anyone wishes to hear my woes in that regard. Hopefully I shan't wander and ramble too much, but I will warn you that the trip may be circuitous.
The reason that this topic has arisen is that a couple few conversations in the last few days have come up and it brought up some thoughts, and those then rattled around in my head until I decided to sit down here.
First topic of discussion, is that SEX IS NOT BAD, IT IS NOT DIRTY, IT IS NOT SINFUL. That being said, I will grant that it can be used to cause harm. Sexual interactions where all involved are not willing, consenting participants is wrong - legally, morally, ethically, emotionally, mentally.
But when those who have the capacity to make decisions and consent to participate in sexual intercourse with others does not in and of itself make any of the peole involved bad. In the particular discussion, the person speaking to me stated at differnt times that she was a "good" girl up until a particular age, and that her child was still "good" as far as she knew. I won't attempt to convince her that she or the child are not "good" or "bad" because they have had sex, but seriously what are we teaching ourselves and our progeny when we look at whther a person is considered good, or worthy, or the like depending upon whether they have had sex (in or out of marriage - but that's for further down in the discussion, so for the moment...).
There is nothing wrong with people wanting to have sex. It is a basic drive of our species...to propogate. Obviously, we want those who are mature enough to handle the risks and consequences of sexual interaction to be the one's who participate in the act, expecially when they are the most ill-prepared for the raising of children (IOW children shouldn't be raising children of their own). But if it we're based upon mental age versus chronological age, there would be a lot of people who may be over 18 years of age who shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
But alas, humans don't only have sexual congress just for the sole purpose of having little ones to carry on our lineage. No we have been blessed (I'm sure some would say cursed, but I believe these same would consider sesx to be a dirty little thing that is done only out of the necessity) to be able to see that sexual unions have more to them than just the possibility of reproduction. We also have sex for pleasure. We have sex for the intimacy it brings to a relationship. We have sex for the spiritual awakenings that it can engender. For the emotional connections that it can bring.
I classify sex into two categories, recreational and intimate. I am not against recreational sex, so long as both individuals going into it, understand that there is no emotional attachment, no intimacy involved beyond the baring of one's body to another, and that ALL precautions are taken to prevent a preganancy (due to the fact that there is no bond between the individuals and thus the likelihood that one of the parents; possibly both; will not want the child). Sadly, the case where BOTH parties are of this understanding is rare. WHile there is consent on both parties part, one tends to lead the other into believing that they are as invested into a long-term relationship that they really are so that they can have sex, but once they have achieved that goal, they move on to their next "victim". This is a tragedy and a travesty. Instead of making sex fun, and instead of making people who are wanting and willing to seek long term relations, they instead become fearful of being used, and reluctant to invest themselves physically, mentally, emotionally into another relationship. It makes them mistrustful and disenchanted about those who could actually be potential good fits.
Now, this is not to say that those who aren't intimately involved with each other can't have recreational sex (the quickie or the weekend marathon or what have you). But when we talk of intimate sex, and being intimate, sex is not also just for purely pleasurable purposes, but is also engaged in so that the partners express their love, their vulnerability and acceptance that the other will not take advantage of or misuse that vulnerability, to deepen the connections between them. To bind them together in a the most phsycially, emotionally, spiritually charged act to strengthen that bond that ties them together.
It is this second type of sexual unioin that is the one that should bring about children. This is the type of union that most desire when they have sex with someone, and while it may not be illegal, I believe it is immoral to lead another to believe that this is what you are seeking when in reality it is a casual, recreational union that you are really after.
For those of us who believe that there is a God, and for those who believe that that Creator had a hand in the creation of Mankind, I believe that like free-will, and the inquisitive rational mind that was bestowed upon us, sex was also one of the individual gifts (unlike the communal gifts like this planet and the natural wonders about us) that we have been given. Therefore, sex is not sinful in and of itself. It is not something one should be ashamed of. It is not dirty. It should not be viewed as a chore or only for JUST the creation of more children. Thoughts like that pervert this gift, and the spiritual connection that it brings not only to our partner, but to that creator when we fully allow ourselves to be consumed by the act of giving and receiving of oneself to another.
So...who has what to say on this subject. THoughts, opinions, damnations? Anyone?
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